Floundering

There are going to be times when you feel like you are lost. None of the choices you are making seem to be making an impact. You’ve jumped into this big pool of creative voices and you haven’t made a single ripple. You are floundering in the middle of the ocean.

I wish I could tell you it just goes away. That one morning you are going to wake up and never feel like that again. I wish I could tell you that it’s temporary. It’s not. The feeling will repeat often, especially as you are just starting up.

This is where I devolve into the clichés: Believe in yourself. It get’s better. Keep on keepin’ on. None of the things you need to hear right now. Floundering sucks. It feels bad and you are right to be upset. But what do you do about it?

This feeling of being lost is the moment of gut-check time. And yes, it’s going to happen often when you are freelancing because there are a lot of easier ways of making a living out there. Working that 9-5 can be so tempting. Steady paycheck. Maybe even benefits!

As I am starting up, this is a feeling I fight often. It’s hard to juggle that work/life/writer balance. To find that sweet spot that let’s me live my dreams. When I feel lost, I need that reality check of what it is I am working for. Why I chose to go down this road and what it is that I get from losing myself in the process.

When I am floundering I remind myself that I actually enjoy the struggle. I am not looking for an easy life but a challenge that I can appreciate. If I am never lost, I am never found.

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