A Bad Day

Yesterday I hit a wall. Bad. Just a full-on emotional stop. Everything was going wrong. I felt like a failure on every level of my personal and professional life. My health issues, only getting worse. Pedagogy in the classroom, diminishing rapidly. My writing goals completely unfulfilled. This was a bad day.

I won’t shy away from it; I was in turmoil. Sobbing uncontrollably, unfocussed, and extended periods of blankly staring at a wall. The weight of everything around me was just too heavy. The fetal position was too comforting. I was not okay.

Don’t worry. Supportive family, friends, and colleagues surround me. Certainly, this is no call for help. No, this is a call for openness. For a long time, I lived in a world where all I was allowed to do was to smile. The only answer to ‘how are you?’ was ‘fine’. My only goal to make sure no one is made to feel uncomfortable by my emotional state. Don’t be too happy, sad, or angry.

Social media has only heightened this experience in recent years. We must maintain these happy-face facades. If we are going to post, we are not allowed bad days. Consequently, that causes the additional devastation of guilt if we ever experience these emotions, as if we are the only humans on the planet to experience grief. We are only putting stress on each other if we keep pretending like everything is always okay.

To clarify, I am not suggesting that we should live with our emotions on our sleeve. For instance, I don’t need to be walking weeping through downtown streets. I don’t need to be specific or even honest every time someone asks me how I am doing. But I shouldn’t shy away from telling people either. They might want to know that other people have bad days.

So, yesterday was a bad day. I am writing about it so you know that it happens to other people as well. Above all, I am telling you that -occasionally- it’s okay not to be okay.

More Insights

Ready to Shift

No matter how tight your planning, how deep your desire, sometimes in creative work you just have to be ready to shift. It’s not that …

Read →

Exhaustion

Exhaustion is more than just feeling tired, it is an overwhelming emotional and moral fatigue that permeates every facet of your life. You don’t fight …

Read →

Details Matter

As a leader the big picture is important. You cannot get distracted by the minutiae of day-to-day operations. That’s where your leadership and guidance come …

Read →

Politics and Leadership

Politics and leadership go together like pasta and sauce. You cannot have one without the other. It’s fantastic when our leaders are chosen purely on …

Read →

Contact Benjamin

If you would like to discuss projects with me further, please feel free to fill in the information below and I will set-up some time for a free consultation.

Your privacy is important to us – learn how we protect it by reading our Privacy Policy.