I am Still Going

I am still going, even though I don’t have a clue what I am doing. I mean, when it comes to writing, I am fine. I am a great storyteller and I know that I have a way with words. When it comes to the business side of things . . . well, I certainly need some coaching. Or an intervention. Like, a major intervention.

It’s not that I don’t understand how business is supposed to work. Far from it. I just have a hard time selling me. I am much more charity driven. I want to solve problems and I forget, sometimes, that this is exactly what my clients are supposed to be paying me for.

Kind of business 101, I know.

I guess that’s what years of institutionalized service in education will do to you. I am geared towards going the extra mile without really understanding what the value in that mile actually is. I am used to working long hours without expectation of appropriate compensation. I am used to being a doormat.

The problem with starting a business like this is that there isn’t a lot of opportunity for second chances. Sometimes the lessons that I am supposed to be learning have passed me by before I have even had a chance to learn it.

That’s not means to be me whinging about the situation, mind you, just acknowledging a lack that needs to be filled. The obvious steps in entrepreneurship just aren’t as obvious to me as I have lived my life in service to others.

There is selfishness, for lack of a better word, in operating a business that Haven’t figured out yet. It is necessary, but feels needlessly ruthless to me, even though it is as natural as going on a hike in the woods.

So, no, there are no big revelations to be gleaned here. No life changing inspiration or insight. Just the realization that I have a long road yet to travel.

And I am still going to be walking that trail.

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